“I couldn’t wear that!”, “I look fat!”, “I hate my arms!” “ I’m not going, I have nothing to wear”
As a personal stylist I work with women who are often low in confidence. Addressing the underlying reasons for that is an important part of rebuilding someone’s overall self-esteem. All the clothes and makeup in the world won’t get the desired outcome.
What we tell ourselves about who we are and how others see us, is a fundamental part of becoming comfortable and confident in our personal image. Self-image is a powerful determinant of an individual’s mental health and emotional well-being. It is a subjective perception of oneself, comprising elements such as personality, appearance, and abilities. While self-image can significantly influence various aspects of life, it is often shaped by past experiences, societal influences, and ongoing personal narratives. Cultivating a positive self-image can lead to benefits such as enhanced self-esteem, greater resilience, and improved relationships.
Examples of Positive Self-Image
- Attractiveness: Seeing yourself as physically appealing or taking pride in personal grooming and style.
- Skill Acknowledgement: Acknowledging and valuing skills or talents, such as creativity or problem-solving abilities.
- Social Confidence: Feeling comfortable and confident in social interactions and effectively engaging with others.
- Achievement Awareness: Recognizing and celebrating personal achievements, no matter how small, fosters a sense of accomplishment.
How you can boost your self-esteem
- Practice Self-Kindness: Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend. Acknowledge and embrace your imperfections without harsh judgment.
- Recognize Positive Attributes: Make a list of your strengths, talents, and accomplishments. This helps shift focus from what you believe you lack to what you uniquely possess.
- Celebrate Successes: No achievement is too small. Whether it’s completing a work project or trying a new recipe, celebrating these wins fosters a sense of accomplishment.
- Challenge Negative Thoughts: Replace critical self-talk with positive affirmations. Instead of saying, “I always fail,” say, “I learn from my mistakes.”
- Set Achievable Goals: Start small and gradually set realistic goals. This not only enhances your sense of capability but also provides continuous motivation.
- Who’s is in your network? Surround yourself with people who uplift and encourage you. A solid support network reinforces self-worth and helps when you are doubting yourself.
- Embrace New Experiences: Stepping outside your comfort zone can foster personal growth and resilience. Each new challenge to undertake reinforces confidence.
Negative self-talk:
Catch yourself being mean! What is the narrative in your mind about yourself?
Start by noticing negative thoughts as they occur. It’s vital to question these thoughts: What evidence supports or contradicts them? Is it true? How is that story serving you?
You can start to shift your perspective from a negative to a positive one. For example, instead of thinking, “I always mess up” change it to, “In know from experience what doesn’t work, and I have learned from that”
Or “I can’t wear those trousers because my hips are too big” to “I wear structured jackets as I know this helps balance out my body shape”
When you know you are going into a situation which is unnerving, practice repeated positive affirmations to yourself. They should be whatever they need to be for yourself in that moment. For example, “I look fabulous today and I am ready to take on the world” or “I will walk in feeling confident and beautiful”
Changing your thoughts, changes your feelings which eventually changes your beliefs. It can be a very powerful strategy.